The power of conversations

Conversations hold immense power and can enhance our lives in so many different ways.

Conversations help us to form new connections and strengthen existing ones. We can learn so much through conversation because it can help us to make sense of something we don’t understand and provide us with the opportunity to explore different perspectives. Conversations can also help us to solve problems and unleash our creativity.

Conversation is the life-blood of our relationships and helps us to bond with others. It is also necessary for effective communication because when we don’t talk about something we may ruminate or speculate which can cause unnecessary anxiety. It’s good to talk.

Conversation and wellbeing

Conversations are the gateway to learning about ourselves and other people. Talking about feelings and thoughts can help boost our confidence, reduce stress and positively impact on our overall wellbeing.

Our conversation style, both with other people and with ourselves, can have a big impact on our mental health. By improving our ability to communicate and comfortably articulate how we feel will help us to build confidence when dealing with more challenging conversations. It is helpful to manage our stress levels and approach conversations in a calmer and more emotionally intelligent way.

The foundation for a great conversation requires a good set of communication skills and it is about having a dialogue not a monologue. Ultimately it is about balancing our ability to speak and listen.

There are many ways that we can have honest, healthy and fulfilling conversations and here are some key tips:

Get the timing right

It is important to get our timing right especially if we are going to discuss a sensitive issue. We need to think about the other person and what is best for them. This can help us to create a far more suitable setting for the conversation.

If we want to have a positive outcome this can be dependent on getting the timing right. This will enable the listener to be more amenable to our request for a conversation or any feedback we may want to offer.

Be present

The key to a great conversation is to be fully present. Mobile technology can sometimes be extremely distracting for both ourselves and the person we are having the conversation with. Being present and fully engaged is of paramount importance so we must be sure to manage any potential distractions in advance.

Being fully present requires us to make a conscious decision to give the other person our undivided attention. Empathetic people have a way of making us feel as if we are the only person in the room. This is also a sign of respect and can be quite a rarity in today’s hyper-distracted digital world.

Be empathetic

Empathy is our ability to sense other people’s emotions and understand how they may be feeling. It is about seeing things from another person’s perspective and imagining ourselves in their position. Practising empathy helps us to connect and relate well with other people in our lives.

Humans are social beings, and we all have the capacity to develop empathy which enables us to build stronger and more supportive relationships. By being empathetic we can better “read” another person’s inner state and interpret it without blaming, giving advice or attempting to fix the situation.

Listen actively

Listening is one of the most powerful and constructive ways that we can engage in great conversations. When we practise active listening, we are listening with purpose and with a deep desire to want to really hear what someone else is saying. We will engage in far more fulfilling conversations if we seek to understand the other person’s priorities and motivations.

To do this it is important to stay focused and use active listening skills to gain insight. Examples of active listening can be paraphrasing to demonstrate understanding as well as using non-verbal cues such as nodding, eye contact and leaning forward. Brief verbal affirmations can also help to encourage people to be more open and share what is on their mind and how they feel.

Challenge assumptions and be curious

We all hold unconscious beliefs and biases, and this is triggered by the brain making quick judgments and assessments of people and situations. Often this is influenced by our own background, societal stereotypes and personal experience.

To be a great conversationalist we need to constantly be aware of and challenge our biases about people and stereotyping. Educating ourselves and listening to the groups that are affected by this misinformation is a really important place to start. This is especially important in a world that will thrive through empathy and embracing diversity and inclusivity.

So be curious about other people and not let our own bias bury the hidden treasure of what we can learnt about others.

Respect silence

How comfortable are you with a pause in a conversation and a moment of silence?

In an attempt to be helpful, sometimes we may feel the urge to fill the void and jump in to finish people’s sentences, offer them some advice, or even interrupt. Silence can be a very powerful way to simply “be” with another person and give them the space to collect their thoughts and feel calm. This may be especially helpful when the other person is emotional and troubled.

Being comfortable with pauses in conversation and allowing a moment of silence can also communicate acceptance of how the other person may be in that given moment.

Check for understanding

It is important that we don’t just assume that someone else has understood what we are saying, so it is helpful to check for mutual understanding.

The following types of questions can be helpful:

Is what I’m saying clear enough, or is it a bit confusing?

I’m not sure if I’m being clear. What are you hearing?

What is your understanding of what I have just shared with you?

Shall we both recap on what we will take away from the conversation?

Summary

Conversation is such a powerful tool for bringing people together. We live in a wonderfully diverse world where we are connecting with people from so many different backgrounds and we can learn so much from each.

Real-life connections and conversations are important because they provide us with a sense of belonging and support. Great conversations help us to feel better connected to others and to the world around us. So go out into the world today and begin a conversation that matters. You never know what positive impact you could make on someone else’s life.

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